The Return

So I realise it's been quite awhile since I last wrote. I think this is the longest gap I've ever allowed on the blog, but that just goes to show that a) I was in fact quite busy in the last couple of months in Doha and b) I am no longer in Doha and thus don't have many reasons to continue writing there. Thus, I believe that this may be my last posting for the blog....unless I change my mind and use it to document a different journey... Who knows.

I have to say that I'm still pretty amazed that I spent the two years in Doha, Qatar. There were positive and negative moments and just a lot of moments in general (admittedly mostly dull). It was a sobering, educational, and different experience, if I had to put it in a nutshell. I have been affected by it for better or worse, and it could very well influence my future choices of where I would like to live and work. Like any other place, there were advantages and disadvantages to living there and the balance varied from person to person and their own individual circumstances. On the positive side, Doha allowed me to officially have my own place, buy and sell my first car, save my first bit of serious money (I'm sure I mentioned somewhere that prior to coming here, I had none). So there were a lot of "firsts" in that respect. There was also a lot of soul searching and bearing down and getting through it too. This was the part that I found draining after awhile and ultimately what led to my decision to leave.

I'm back in Toronto now where we take the grass, trees, and fresh air for granted. Alcohol and pork are abundant and I can eat or drink it without being self-conscious (I'm not going nuts, but it's still nice). I also note that when you're in this part of the world, you tend to live in a bubble and get absorbed into our little lives. There is very little discussion of world issues, politics and the like because most people are more concerned about kids, mortgages and paying the bills. That's life here, I know. And I'm trying to decide if I should enter this rat race once and for all. That's what I'll spend this time off doing, hopefully.

Below is a picture I took of the C.N. Tower from downtown Toronto. It's not the best vantage point with that parking garage on the left, but it's the Toronto I know. I am home.

Countdown!

May is already in full swing over here. I'm now starting to prepare for my leaving this place for good. I've sold my car (which was a feat unto itself) and even found a home for a kitten I had taken off the streets. There are three weeks until classes are finished and then I have about a month to collect, organize and send home the rest of my things. In the meantime, my sister will be coming to visit me for a bit, her first since I first got here. Things are winding down and wrapping up overall and I'm excited at the prospect of leaving. Game plan A is to go home and reacclimate to "the West" for a bit. I don't know how long that "bit" will be, but I'm trying to not stress over it too much. I need to get my life in order and I don't know how I'm going to go about doing that. I couldn't tell you where I'm going to be in a year from now, let alone ten. I don't have any solid short-term or long-term goals and it scares me shitless, excuse my French. All I know is that I'll be going back home and will reassess where I'm going and what I want out of life.

As for my everyday life here, it's been alright. Since I last wrote, I spent another vacation in Sinai and had a great time. (Did I ever mention that I feel like I live from vacation to vacation here? Well, it still holds true.) The week felt like a short dream and then I had to 'wake up' to real life once more, meaning returning here. In any case, I have less than two months left now and I think the weeks will move quickly. The weather is turning hot again, bringing back miserable flashbacks of energy-draining heat waves of yore. It's no fun to go out anymore - it's running from airconditioned home to airconditioned car to airconditioned destination. It sucks, but it'll be fun to see how my sister, newbie as she is, will deal with it. I am still amazed from time to time at our ability to adapt to various extreme environments. I shudder at the thought of going back home to temperatures below zero. I am terrified, frankly.

In any case, this is the point I'm at. At another crossroads yet again. Where to next, only God knows. Until next time...

April Thoughts

It is already April, lo and behold. Since I last blogged, I've come to realise that I do really like this place and that I'm going to stick it out for three to six years....April Fools! That wasn't meant to be funny, so if I didn't get any laughs, that's okay. I've actually decided that I'm going to leave at the end of this academic year. This means that in actuality I have three months left before I leave Doha most likely for good. I've managed to hold out for as long as I could, which turned out to be two years in the end. I am trying to hold steady for the remaining time I have left in terms of work and my own life here. I am excited that I'll be leaving soon, but am still trying to get my work done and keep myself on an even keel.

As far as my class this semester goes, it is the lowest level in the program and the girls really have very little hope of passing. I am being brutally honest; with the exception of a handful of girls, most will probably fail. They are just simply too low to do any kind of English, let alone academic, university-level English. I am hoping that in the semester that we're together, they could at least improve somewhat in preparation for future English classes. Their mid-term exam is this Saturday. God help them.

As for myself, I've been keeping busy for the most part. Incidentally, Doha is 2010's Arab Culture Capital and so there have been lots of Arabic cultural performances that I've been going to lately. Last night I saw an oud performance by Salah Abdel Karim, a famous Iraqi musician, and last week, I attended a concert of Syrian folk singing (of the Oum Kolthum variety - an Oum Kolthum piece was even played!) which was great. In between, I also saw some Russian folk dancing, which was alright, but the music got to be a bit jarring after awhile. It's all good in the end - I'm getting to see a lot of cultural perfomances that I wouldn't otherwise see and all for free too! That is one of the beauties of living in an petroleum rich nation like Qatar - the government can and does pay for a lot of our expenses here. Even the new Islamic Museum is free with the exception of new exhibits. It is kind of nice not having to pay for every bit of entertainment and culture that one might consume.

Something that is kind of costly though, is traveling for vacations. I have another spring vacation coming up soon and I'll be flying out of here again. This time I'll be going to the Sinai and then will hopefully connect with Petra, Jordan to see the ruins there. I've always wanted to visit, but never made it out. I'll do the best that I can and maybe I'll get to see one more Arab historical ruin before I leave. So that's kind of exciting and something to look forward to. And sadly, this is what my life here has been reduced to: I basically live from vacation to vacation. Living here has provided me with the funds and time to do the kind of traveling I do, but it has resulted in me living a fragmented existence where I have become almost addicted to act of traveling. I'm literally almost planning my next trip as soon as I get back from my last one. As lovely as the traveling is, this is not the way I want to live. I don't feel fulfilled in those in between periods of time when I'm here and trying to make a living, which is ultimately when I want to feel fulfilled. I want to like my work and look forward to doing it and I honestly can't say that I feel that way right now. So in the end, I've decided, enough is enough. I need to move on from here and find something new.

Fast forward to the present and I am now in that predicament of prospective unemployment and it is mildly terrifying. I am applying to as many places as possible, but with very few bites. I haven't lost hope yet and will keep searching, but there is a part of me that also just wants to go home. I want to be home and be around comforting familiarity once more. I don't even know if that exists for me anymore, considering how long I've been away, but I want to believe that it still exists. So while I'm hoping to find work eventually, staying home with the folks and being jobless for a little while doesn't scare me too much either. This is the point I'm at, at the moment. This may change in a few months time, but this is the honest truth for me right now.

Anyway, I'll end by posting some long overdue photos of my last trip during my mid-year break back in February. To refresh your memory, I visited Syria, Lebanon and Egypt in the two weeks. Yes, it was jam-packed and the pictures I'll post will only capture a taste of what I saw. The pictures, however, are worth a thousand words so... Enjoy.

Streets of Lebanon, just outside of Beirut.

Byblos, aka Jbail, Lebanon.

Roman baths ruins; Tyre, aka Sour, Lebanon.

Umayyad Mosque, Damascus, Syria.


Al Azhar Mosque, Cairo, Egypt.

Al Azhar Park, Cairo, Egypt. Mosque of Mohamed Ali in the background.

Update 5.4

I've returned from my trip long ago - it already seems like ages ago. I did end up going to Syria vis-a-vis Lebanon for the first week, followed by a return to Cairo in the second week. It was a bittersweet trip for me (did I say that the last time?) and it made me wonder if this'll be my last stint in the Middle East. I don't mean that I'll be saying a permanent goodbye, but I get this sinking feeling that I'll be saying goodbye for awhile... I loved the trip and am glad I went, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to feel that it is time.

Back in Doha, I'm already getting into school mode. The second semester classes have started and I have a class of twenty-two at the moment, up from eight. The teachers teach twelve hours maximum this semester due to there not being enough students to fill the classes. That was a bit of a surprise, but a nice one for many teachers. I have a mix of students from other Gulf countries, but most of my students are Qataris. For some reason, I have quite of few girls who are makeup queens in my class and I am transfixed. I often wonder how long it takes them to get ready for school, what with all the khol, mascara, eye shadow, foundation, powder and lipstick they have on? Not to mention some (some) heavenly smelling fragrances, that enter the class before they do... I can safely say that I feel insufficiently female when I'm around some of these girls and it can do quite a number on the psyche. It gets really bad on bad hair days. Anyway, the girls are, for the most part, sweet. They are honestly trying to do their best, but little do they know how far away their best is from the reality of university English. As teachers, I can only hope that there will be some improvement and not hope for miracles along the way.

Winter has already come and gone. We are in the mid-20s or higher now; AC is now needed at midday and the sweaters are already put away. Meanwhile, the eastern seaboard in the US is experiencing some of its worst snow storms in history and we're almost at March! Weird! Let me count my blessings as I'll take this weather over that any day. We're at a nice temperature now and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

At some point, I will get around to posting pictures of my trip. I usually refrain because it requires a lot of patience on my part to upload the photos on the world's slowest computer (mine) and patience is some thing I don't have at the moment. I'll do it another day, a day hopefully filled with some inspiration to share what I've done and seen. Here's to hoping!

Break

I'm flying to Lebanon tomorrow. I'll stay with a friend in south Lebanon and we'll try to visit Damascus as well. I'll try to see a bit of Beirut, and visit Byblos and the Jeita Grotto. That's the plan anyway. After that, I'll fly to Egypt and stay in Cairo for another week. My time in Cairo is mainly for visiting friends and stomping on familiar ground. It's safe to say, I'm excited.

Will write again soon, inshallah.

2010

2009 was a tough year. There were a lot of changes and adjustments that were made. Normally, I welcome change because I like novelty and stimulation, but the changes that took place this past year were challenging and very revealing for me. In fact, it was revealing in ways that I didn't really like, but it also forced me to address issues that I've ignored. I know I sound really obtuse right now, but this is the only way I can put it. Anyway, the year is over (el hamdulileh!) and I'm onto another one. The holidays were nice and spent with really nice, warm people (el hamdulileh again). Classes are over and final exams graded. Two of my students failed, but the rest passed - which is great. I now have three weeks of on-duty off-time, so to speak. As I probably mentioned last year, we have a bit of time off before we are released for our vacation. As it turns out, Turkey did not work out for this break, so instead I'll be going to Lebanon, possibly Syria, and then Egypt. I've always wanted to explore this region a bit more so here's my chance. I can't wait. I will write about it when I get back, inshallah.

On a side note, one interesting thing I was able to do recently was go to a shooting range and shoot a gun for the first time. It was a long hunting gun, double-barrelled. It was cool! We aimed at flying clay plates that are shot out from the ground. I actually hit a few plates and it was exhilarating! It's something I'd definitely go to again. Below is a shot me releasing months worth of pent-up frustration at a clay plate. I loved it (*grin*).

Happy New Years, everyone - bring on 2010!